zombies?

Here's a life update.
I'm at the zombie stage.
Different things help(water, light exercise) and make it worse(sugar!!!overdoing it!!! watching too much t.v.), but mostly I just don't worry about it and carry on with life, because it's not altogether unpleasant. It's just a chronic fatigue. Or perhaps just a feeling of trying to catch some thoughts that are floating just out of reach above your foggy head. And it's so weird, because on the outside, I don't look like I have this, but I do. And I know I'm not alone, but
I don't feel sorry for myself, but I wish people knew how I feel sometimes.
But the biggest struggle with this tiredness is that I don't want to be tired, so I try to do things I would normally do. And even do one better than that, and try to be strong and do lots of things.
But that makes me so tired that I either feel ill, or overwhelmed, or like I can't think straight.

And there are things I can do about this. I can change my diet, which I've tried a few times. And it does make me feel quite a bit better. But then I'll be feeling lonely at home with the kids and sometimes just eat to pass the time. I know it's not the best thing to do. But sometimes I can't think of a better way to stay awake than to occasionally snack. And I get to craving heavy foods. And sugary foods. But when I eat them, they just make me more tired. And food is often what I go to for comfort. Again, I know it's not healthy.

I have thought about doing little workout videos at home, but we live in an apartment, and really don't have the space for it. I have a planet fitness membership, but I can only go work out when Preston is home, and I often like to hang out with him when he's home and not busy with school. So I'll go through times where I'm motivated and eat healthy, exercise, and only drink water. But they haven't really lasted all that long. I'm not trying to sound depressing, I promise! I just need to keep it up!

I do miss people though. I wish all my family and friends could live in the same place. Frankly, I envy those who have all their family and closest friends within an hour or two.

But I am pressing on, day by day, because LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL, and God has blessed me.

So I'm never giving up.
<3